I come from a long line of ‘fixers.’ You got a problem, I'll solve it! Dust this, tidy that, new shirt/new shoes NO ISSUES, keep cleaning into the corners so everything looks just right. It's hard to learn in fixin' culture that the premise relies on an assumption of something needing cleaning, and we're not always right.
I've been trying to help my whole life with the best of intentions, and messing sh*t up sometimes too. We all do. Failing with grace, maybe that's why I have faith -
it's certainly not ego that gets me back up again.
Sometimes force of will is easy to recognize - always easier to judge in others. Other times it creeps in, touching thoughts as it becomes our words and behaviors. Lord, forgive me. Here it feels like I could be asking you!
I can't stop, won't stop helping. It makes me feel alive. But I also need help learning, I think we all do. So we all should KEEP TALKING.
ORIGINAL WORK COPYRIGHTED TO HYPE GIRL MEDIA
"The first story that he ever showed me was "Rubio y Morena." I didn't like it (and still don't).
‘So fix it,’ he said. He knew, of course, that there is no fixing someone else's story or life but he was curious to see what I would do.
So I reversed backward-running sentences, removed repetitions, simplified the often ponderous images. I was rather proud of the result. He was deeply irritated.
‘What you have done is remove my style, which is all that I have.’
He was right."
-Gore Vidal of Tennessee Williams